I'm Grateful for my Husband

Yes, I'm really grateful for him. Being married takes a lot of work. But if you're working together, then you're probably doing it right. ;)
We got a good amount of money from our tax return. I asked Tommy if we could use it to buy a car (long before we even prepared our taxes). There are LOTS of reasons why I want a car, and think it would be beneficial, but I'm not going to go there, mostly because you probably understand this and so I don't need to list. So lately, we've been looking for a car. Starting from last week, we tried a Ford Focus. Tommy didn't know it was a Ford, but he doesn't like Fords apparently, so we're not going to get it. I was okay with it- the test drive didn't win me over. We just wanted to find a car that we both like.
Then, Tommy found this REALLY amazing deal on Craigslist. It was a 2002 Toyota Camry XLE with leather seats and a sun roof. We only had access to the person's email, so we were contacting that way. Here, there are a lot of servicemen who get deployed, so they price their cars a little bit cheaper in order to be able to sell quicker. Well, that was the story...plus the part about how this guy is in NORTH DAKOTA at an AFB and he'll ship it to us and we can pay through Amazon. We found our first scam. (I was slightly disappointed because this sounded perfect for me/for us, and I let my hopes get too high.)
I was scouring Craigslist after this, to see if I could find anything close by. I did find one, a little out of our price range, but Tommy said maybe we can bargain, so we went and looked and tested it out. I really liked most of it. It seemed really good in most ways. However, Tommy wasn't sure. He started at a 4.5 and moved to a 5 on a scale of how much he wanted it. I was a 7. We weighed in on this really hard. Maybe it sounds stupid, but $3000 is a lot to us right now. We said that we could spend $2900 on it (which was a compromise from both of us). They were willing to take that offer. Tommy and I discussed and weighed in even more. It's funny, because usually I'm the wishy-washy one, but this time I had my mind made up. Tommy didn't, but I think that's because he knew I liked it, but he wasn't sold. We ended up telling the people that we weren't on the same page about the car, and so we're going to wait until we find one we both like.
Tommy just wants to wait altogether, so I told him I won't look for any cars until he lets me know that he's ready. (That's going to be a challenge, but I can do it. Good self-control practice, anyway.)
Now, if you think about it, being single CAN be much easier because one party is deleted from this process. You can more easily do whatever you feel is right for YOU. When you're married, you need to work together to make decisions (if you want your marriage to stay healthy), and there will ALWAYS be disagreements, because of that fact about being two different people- it's two different brains you're dealing with.
So why am I grateful for my husband? I'm grateful that he's willing to keep the best in mind for both of us, even if I have a different opinion about what that really means. I'm grateful he lets me have my opinion. I'm grateful that it's okay to disagree with each other sometimes. I'm grateful that he is supportive, but that he has his opinion, too. And I'm really really grateful that I DO have someone to make a decision with- that I don't have to do it myself, and neither does he. Because two heads ARE better than one-it helps each person to keep from falling through the cracks- and the couple. (Usually.) So although it might sound a little crazy to some people out there about being able to "do whatever you want," that isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've been there and done that before. It's "mo' bettah" when you have someone to fall back on and make a decision with, so that you are both going to benefit. Even if it doesn't work out, somehow you still feel supported, because the other opinion matters, too. And although that can not be so fun sometimes because you don't always get what you want as often, it kicks the selfishness right out of you. There's no room for that garbage if you want to keep your marriage healthy. Selfishness doesn't really get people where they want to be, anyway, so thanks for the everyday lessons on selflessness...
So I'm grateful for my husband, that we can work together in decision making, that I don't have to do it alone, that we can work together so that we can both win, that he can be supportive of me whether we agree or agree to disagree, that he's so important to me that I'm willing and finally able to put myself aside completely for another person and look at something from his point of view, that everything is always going to be okay, that he can make me laugh when I'm really mad at him and don't want to laugh (Shhh! don't tell!), that I matter to him, that he makes me feel loved every single day, that I don't have to be alone for the rest of FOREVER because I HATE BEING ALONE, that I'm learning how to involve Heavenly Father more in big decisions because of Tommy, because I have someone to love.
I'm so grateful for my husband.

Surprises

Occasionally, I tell Tommy he should surprise me more. I like surprises. Actually, I love them! I don't understand why some people don't. (I secretly think it's good for them, and to let go of the control.) I love surprising others, and getting surprises. The excitement, the smile, the reaction, the aura of the atmosphere- I love it all!

I have noticed smaller things lately where Tommy has really been trying harder to do this, and contribute to my overall happiness and our relationship. Last week, when he had a break between semesters, he surprised me by coming to meet me after work. (That actually turned out not-so-great for my sister, but that's a completely different story, poor girl.)

Usually I call Tommy at lunchtime. I honestly sometimes don't even know what to talk about sometimes, but I just want to feel connected to him and hear his voice and see how everything is going. I just like talking to him, even if I have nothing in particular I want to say. It's because I love him. On Friday, I called him, and we were talking, and he said,
"Hey, did you ever purchase tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters?" (He knew I had seen something about it online.)
"No, I didn't."
"Good, because I just bought tickets for Monday night at 7:00. They were kind of expensive, actually. They were $28 each..." (Originally I thought he said $48 each, but I'm glad to know that was not the case, although I assured him that it was worth it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.)

The conversation continued, but I told you the most important part about it. I was so happy that he got them, and also that he did something to surprise me! I didn't have much else to say besides "That's so exciting!/I'm so excited!" and "Thank you!"

Later on, I was talking to him about it, asking what prompted to buy them. He said a few things, and I said that I thought he wanted to surprise me. He said, "Yeah, that's a another big one, actually." I told him that I was surprised, because usually he doesn't like spending a lot of money. He responded by telling me that he actually sat there for 30 minutes trying to decide whether or not to get them. That both cracks me up that it was that difficult for him, and also makes me so happy that he was willing to do something that big to surprise me. (I know that $28 isn't really too much money, but usually our dates cost a little bit less than that (unless he's in the mood to "have a really good meal"), so it was a splurge for him, plus we are trying pretty hard to save money.) And I just found out that he could have saved some money from it, but that's okay. It puts a smile on my face to know that he did that, and of course I told him thank you for doing that to surprise me (positive reinforcement, folks!) and I really am thankful.

I'm happy that I have this cute and adorable and also awesome Chinese guy in my life. I am so grateful that he is making such an effort to make me happy. He always likes to quote, "Happy wife, happy life" and he's really starting to live that.

Okay, now can I divert this and bring up the point that we're going to see the HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS?!?!?!?!? And now you can vote on a rule that you want them to add to the game. Folks, I am so excited. I am living my mom's dream. She has always wanted to see one of their games. I think I shall be exploding her phone with photos and videos so she can see it! (Unless they don't allow photography...) Too bad facetime wouldn't work very well for that. Anyway, EXCITED. :) I just really really wish my mom could be here. She would be so thrilled!