Sunday, May 4, 2014

I'm Grateful for my Husband

Yes, I'm really grateful for him. Being married takes a lot of work. But if you're working together, then you're probably doing it right. ;)
We got a good amount of money from our tax return. I asked Tommy if we could use it to buy a car (long before we even prepared our taxes). There are LOTS of reasons why I want a car, and think it would be beneficial, but I'm not going to go there, mostly because you probably understand this and so I don't need to list. So lately, we've been looking for a car. Starting from last week, we tried a Ford Focus. Tommy didn't know it was a Ford, but he doesn't like Fords apparently, so we're not going to get it. I was okay with it- the test drive didn't win me over. We just wanted to find a car that we both like.
Then, Tommy found this REALLY amazing deal on Craigslist. It was a 2002 Toyota Camry XLE with leather seats and a sun roof. We only had access to the person's email, so we were contacting that way. Here, there are a lot of servicemen who get deployed, so they price their cars a little bit cheaper in order to be able to sell quicker. Well, that was the the part about how this guy is in NORTH DAKOTA at an AFB and he'll ship it to us and we can pay through Amazon. We found our first scam. (I was slightly disappointed because this sounded perfect for me/for us, and I let my hopes get too high.)
I was scouring Craigslist after this, to see if I could find anything close by. I did find one, a little out of our price range, but Tommy said maybe we can bargain, so we went and looked and tested it out. I really liked most of it. It seemed really good in most ways. However, Tommy wasn't sure. He started at a 4.5 and moved to a 5 on a scale of how much he wanted it. I was a 7. We weighed in on this really hard. Maybe it sounds stupid, but $3000 is a lot to us right now. We said that we could spend $2900 on it (which was a compromise from both of us). They were willing to take that offer. Tommy and I discussed and weighed in even more. It's funny, because usually I'm the wishy-washy one, but this time I had my mind made up. Tommy didn't, but I think that's because he knew I liked it, but he wasn't sold. We ended up telling the people that we weren't on the same page about the car, and so we're going to wait until we find one we both like.
Tommy just wants to wait altogether, so I told him I won't look for any cars until he lets me know that he's ready. (That's going to be a challenge, but I can do it. Good self-control practice, anyway.)
Now, if you think about it, being single CAN be much easier because one party is deleted from this process. You can more easily do whatever you feel is right for YOU. When you're married, you need to work together to make decisions (if you want your marriage to stay healthy), and there will ALWAYS be disagreements, because of that fact about being two different people- it's two different brains you're dealing with.
So why am I grateful for my husband? I'm grateful that he's willing to keep the best in mind for both of us, even if I have a different opinion about what that really means. I'm grateful he lets me have my opinion. I'm grateful that it's okay to disagree with each other sometimes. I'm grateful that he is supportive, but that he has his opinion, too. And I'm really really grateful that I DO have someone to make a decision with- that I don't have to do it myself, and neither does he. Because two heads ARE better than one-it helps each person to keep from falling through the cracks- and the couple. (Usually.) So although it might sound a little crazy to some people out there about being able to "do whatever you want," that isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've been there and done that before. It's "mo' bettah" when you have someone to fall back on and make a decision with, so that you are both going to benefit. Even if it doesn't work out, somehow you still feel supported, because the other opinion matters, too. And although that can not be so fun sometimes because you don't always get what you want as often, it kicks the selfishness right out of you. There's no room for that garbage if you want to keep your marriage healthy. Selfishness doesn't really get people where they want to be, anyway, so thanks for the everyday lessons on selflessness...
So I'm grateful for my husband, that we can work together in decision making, that I don't have to do it alone, that we can work together so that we can both win, that he can be supportive of me whether we agree or agree to disagree, that he's so important to me that I'm willing and finally able to put myself aside completely for another person and look at something from his point of view, that everything is always going to be okay, that he can make me laugh when I'm really mad at him and don't want to laugh (Shhh! don't tell!), that I matter to him, that he makes me feel loved every single day, that I don't have to be alone for the rest of FOREVER because I HATE BEING ALONE, that I'm learning how to involve Heavenly Father more in big decisions because of Tommy, because I have someone to love.
I'm so grateful for my husband.

Saturday, April 26, 2014


Occasionally, I tell Tommy he should surprise me more. I like surprises. Actually, I love them! I don't understand why some people don't. (I secretly think it's good for them, and to let go of the control.) I love surprising others, and getting surprises. The excitement, the smile, the reaction, the aura of the atmosphere- I love it all!

I have noticed smaller things lately where Tommy has really been trying harder to do this, and contribute to my overall happiness and our relationship. Last week, when he had a break between semesters, he surprised me by coming to meet me after work. (That actually turned out not-so-great for my sister, but that's a completely different story, poor girl.)

Usually I call Tommy at lunchtime. I honestly sometimes don't even know what to talk about sometimes, but I just want to feel connected to him and hear his voice and see how everything is going. I just like talking to him, even if I have nothing in particular I want to say. It's because I love him. On Friday, I called him, and we were talking, and he said,
"Hey, did you ever purchase tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters?" (He knew I had seen something about it online.)
"No, I didn't."
"Good, because I just bought tickets for Monday night at 7:00. They were kind of expensive, actually. They were $28 each..." (Originally I thought he said $48 each, but I'm glad to know that was not the case, although I assured him that it was worth it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.)

The conversation continued, but I told you the most important part about it. I was so happy that he got them, and also that he did something to surprise me! I didn't have much else to say besides "That's so exciting!/I'm so excited!" and "Thank you!"

Later on, I was talking to him about it, asking what prompted to buy them. He said a few things, and I said that I thought he wanted to surprise me. He said, "Yeah, that's a another big one, actually." I told him that I was surprised, because usually he doesn't like spending a lot of money. He responded by telling me that he actually sat there for 30 minutes trying to decide whether or not to get them. That both cracks me up that it was that difficult for him, and also makes me so happy that he was willing to do something that big to surprise me. (I know that $28 isn't really too much money, but usually our dates cost a little bit less than that (unless he's in the mood to "have a really good meal"), so it was a splurge for him, plus we are trying pretty hard to save money.) And I just found out that he could have saved some money from it, but that's okay. It puts a smile on my face to know that he did that, and of course I told him thank you for doing that to surprise me (positive reinforcement, folks!) and I really am thankful.

I'm happy that I have this cute and adorable and also awesome Chinese guy in my life. I am so grateful that he is making such an effort to make me happy. He always likes to quote, "Happy wife, happy life" and he's really starting to live that.

Okay, now can I divert this and bring up the point that we're going to see the HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS?!?!?!?!? And now you can vote on a rule that you want them to add to the game. Folks, I am so excited. I am living my mom's dream. She has always wanted to see one of their games. I think I shall be exploding her phone with photos and videos so she can see it! (Unless they don't allow photography...) Too bad facetime wouldn't work very well for that. Anyway, EXCITED. :) I just really really wish my mom could be here. She would be so thrilled!

Thursday, April 24, 2014


If my Tommy Baby isn't tired of his homework (which I know he is, but I think sometimes he likes it, and I don't blame him), I'm tired and bored of it for him.
We are both very grateful his appeal for extension was approved and that he'll be graduating in December. However, after that, he'll be doing a MAcc program, and not here in Hawaii. (He can't get a scholarship from UH- they're a bit stingy, I guess, so he's planning on applying to other schools that he thinks he can.) Which only means...MORE HOMEWORK! Ahhhhh! And eventually, I wouldn't be surprised one bit if he gets his PhD.

I think that maybe probably I am just either:
A) not supportive enough,
B) too impatient,
C) too selfish, or
D) all of those.

I hope not. He says I'm supportive. I don't feel like that. I just feel like I want to complain about his homework all the time and throw it out the window sometimes. I want him to get those degrees. Education is really important to me...(that's obvious, as I'm a teacher). And actually, I want to get at least my Masters degree. I don't think that I want to do an online program, and I want to do something educationally related (duh), but I really think that I want to study Educational Psychology. Those two words are my two main interests, and I love that subject. The problem is- actually, there are two: WHEN? and WHERE? Not a lot of schools offer that, and depending on where my groom studies for his Masters, I will have to wait. Plus, I will have to wait because I don't think that we can both go to school at the same time. Although that may possibly be ideal (I don't know, I graduated before we got married, so I've never been in that situation of both spouses going to school at the same time), I don't think it will be financially doable.

So, we'll see.
Meanwhile, I am a displaced teacher, which means as of now, my school has no room for me next year. So I don't know where I'm going to be. And I really hope I find out soon. I was bummed because the two places (much closer to home) I applied to didn't take me. One hired someone without interviewing me, the other interviewed me but never called me back. I think it was a long day for both of us, I felt like the interview was a little rushed, and I really could have interviewed a lot better. Frustrating, because I feel like I would be a perfect fit, but oh well. Something will work out. (I'm supposed to be placed before anyone starts hiring new employees. I better get SOMETHING!!! I've worked so hard to be where I am now, and I really don't want to lose it. Oh well if I do, I guess I'll be moving, anyway...)

As a random side note, it's actually pretty fun being married to someone who doesn't speak my first language. When this little someone gets tired and saying stuff that doesn't make much sense, sometimes it's in Cantonese and if I remember, I get a translation later, and these things are funny. For example, yesterday he asked me if I was taking that little bowl of "fighter jets" for my lunch. (Translated from Cantonese.) He was actually talking about a bowl of soup. So today, I ate a bowl of little fighter jets (which spilled all over- I don't know if it was me or the container- it was Campbell's soup at hand in a bowl, which I have never tried. Probably a combination of me and the bowl- I think it's filled up a little too much.)
Anyway...welcome to my brain, where my thoughts jump all over the place.
Happy Friday (a few hours early, for me anyway)!!!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Life, Creepy Crawlies, Cars, Easter

(Okay, I know this post is really random. That's how my brain works. And I had a lot of catching-up to do, so I did it in one post.)

This past week, Tommy has had school off. It's been really nice, even though I had work. We got to do a lot together after I finished work. He starts school again tomorrow.
I have 6 more weeks of teaching left of the school year. (This means only 5 more weeks of planning! WOOHOO!)
He has 7 weeks of Summer A (the summer semester is cut in half with a 5 week break in the middle).
Plus 2 more weeks of an extra SAP class his professor voluntarily teaches (I think unpaid) to help students get SAP certified. 2 weeks of 8 AM to 8 PM.
9 weeks of school. Hard weeks. Busy weeks. Crazy weeks.
I'm so scared. When he's in school and super busy, life is more than just a little hard for the both of us. At least he got a week to relax to the max.
The next week, we head to Hong Kong for just under 2 weeks. I'm really excited to go.
Tommy got his extension approved the 2nd time around, thanks to help from many faculty and professors on campus. (He started school before the 9 semester rule, so he's in that middle group who was applied the rule, but sometimes have a hard time finishing.) He is double majoring, which isn't grounds for staying another semester, so basically he had to talk about why those classes would help him in his future career. We are just really grateful his appeal (actually, re-appeal) was accepted, and he can graduate in December.

A few minutes ago, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. At first, I thought it was a cockroach. But as I stared at this creature that seems to somehow blend in with the carpet (perhaps the texture), I realized it's a spider. I do not know what kind, but perhaps it's the one that laid egg sacs on our ceiling. I have been staring at it. And it just moved again. I don't usually mind spiders, but this one seems a little creepy to me.

Okay, that was an ugly one. After I checked out what it was (and it was bigger than I thought), it crawled away, and across the door. So I opened the door up in attempt to help it go outside. It crawled around and ended up on the cement by the door. So I then opened up the screen, and out it went. I think it did not exactly want to be around me, either. Good bye, spider. I'm glad I did not kill you and that you are outside where you belong. Please don't go into someone else's house, or back into mine. Some people aren't as nice to me.

Speaking of these things, there was a grasshopper head in my dim sum yesterday. I cut it in half to share with Tommy. When I picked up my portion, there was something that fell out. I ate my dim sum, while staring at this thing. I couldn't help but think it looked like a grasshopper head, but that it was probably part of the veggies inside. I really wasn't sure. I picked it up to show Tommy, and then it shot out of my chopsticks and landed by his plate. Then he picked it up and I told him what it reminded me of. He looked at it, and said it was. Frankie and Felicia, who are from Malaysia, were with us, and said it happens quite often there. That was a first for Tommy, who has only seen it in movies/TV shows. It was also a first for me. He called over the waiter and told them. They crossed that off of our bill and also gave us free egg tarts.
I had eaten that piece, and I don't think the body was inside, but it's still a little gross to think that the head was touching stuff that I ate. I tried to tell myself that it was okay since I once voluntarily ate a mealworm in a Bio Lab class in Idaho. (It was fried, salted, and for extra credit. So I did it.) But I think they are a little different. And also, I did it voluntarily, for something.

In my last post, I talked about not going anywhere for Christmas. My dad had a bunch of extra sky miles that he ended up using for plane tickets for us. (I think both of my parents really wanted us there.) It was fun, and I can't believe it's already Easter! I love Easter. I love what it represents and reminds us of. Anyway, 4 months have passed already. January...February...March...and now April is closer to being finished than it is to beginning.

Stacy left on Wednesday morning. She's transferring to Provo. I don't know who I am going to play with this summer. It makes me a little sad she's gone. In some ways it's good, but in a lot of ways, it's just sad. I'm happy for her, though. Getting her to the airport was crazy. She had a ride, but then that person's car broke down and couldn't take her. Tommy came to town that day to get his computer looked at and met up with me after work. We went to Wal-Mart, and then we went to a movie. We BARELY missed the bus after our movie, I think. So we had to wait a really long time and we got home at 10:00 PM. Stacy still had no ride. But a little while later, our neighbor came and offered to let us borrow their car since he had to work. I had to be to work, and Tommy didn't feel comfortable driving, so he went along in the car, but got someone else to drive her. (I rode the bus, because I felt uncomfortable with the possibility of traffic and being late. Especially since we were taking a field trip that day to the Bishop Museum.) I also felt bad, because Stacy had been locked out of our apartment, with no phone, after having gone to the beach. She called me during the movie from a friend's phone, and I didn't answer, but the second time, I knew what had happened, I left, and I called her back. I ended up calling an RA to come open the door. Everything turned out okay, but that poor girl had a hard day and a run for her money.
This story illustrates why I would like to get a car now, because I am tired of these kinds of things happening. Also, I want Tommy especially (but also me) to enjoy the island before we have to go. I don't know when he's going to start grad school, but he's not applying to UH because he cannot get a scholarship there, so it costs too much money. I'm a little sad about that. It's really hard to think about leaving. So I want to make the most of the rest of the time we have, and the bus doesn't go everywhere, and takes a lot of time.

Well, I think I hit the bulk of it. Today, we ended up joining another ward for Sacrament Meeting because the building where we meet was having its floors redone. It was a last minute notice, so we only had Sacrament Meeting, and then went home (the other ward continued everything, but we would have been too much for them to handle). It was funny, because I was supposed to play the piano for Sacrament today, and teach a lesson in Relief Society. I didn't end up needing to do either. I tried to not get annoyed about it, since I had put in a lot of extra preparation, which could have been used for other things. So I prayed that I wouldn't have a bad attitude about it. I ended up telling myself that it was okay because I learned more than I would have had I known I didn't need to do either. This is true. So then I was okay. (Especially since I need more piano practice, and playing the piano today would have been slightly stressful, because it always is. I don't really like playing while people sing- it is a difficult thing to do.)

Happy Easter! I am so grateful that Jesus Christ descended below all so that he could ascend above all, and allow us to be with Him if we follow and obey Him. Just think of the lowest place you've ever been in your life- the darkest. He experienced that, and everything else from everyone. He knows every single person's feelings, as well as the pain from sin. That blows my mind, how much He must have truly hurt (because I think that really helps put it into perspective). He knows. He still followed Father's commandments, and did not "remove the bitter cup." And then He literally rose 3 days later, and broke the bands of death. I am so thankful. And so filled with love toward Him. I'm thankful for everything He did. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I feel so joyful and honored to call Him my Brother, for He is! And He lives!