Life really stings sometimes. It does. That's true.
Honestly, it's difficult to be a 100% supportive wife when your husband is engulfed in schoolwork, you have a wild commute just because you work quite a distance from home, and you don't really get to see, let alone spend much time with each other. Add to that fact the uncertainty of graduation- whether it will be next August or December...(that's a big time gap, although the uncertainty doesn't bother me quite as much).
When days like that came around, I held onto the fact that it's going to be okay- we're going to have a break together in December and we're going to go to Hong Kong and it's going to be fun. And if we really can't make it to Hong Kong, we can still go to Washington. If we couldn't make it to Hong Kong, maybe we could buy a car instead.
I was thinking very positively about all of this. I tried to infiltrate Tommy with "It's okay if the tickets are a little bit more expensive, because we really need to go." (Tommy didn't really seem very excited about the ticket prices.)
Then, I asked what he REALLY thought, and what his real opinion was. He said he thought the tickets were expensive, but maybe we should go to the temple and pray about it.
So we did.
And I got stung. Because we both thought we should wait- to go to HK and to get a car. I kind of thought that was the answer coming, but I really knew once we got there. That nice little car bit wasn't really even a question for me at the time, but both of us had that feeling, too.
When we got home, I looked at tickets for Seattle, and they were just not worth it. We had missed every golden window of opportunity. Which then stung some more. We decided to just stay here for December. We feel like we need to save our money, especially for this upcoming semester and summer.
(Man, I am ready for summer again.)
I'm not complaining, at least I'm not trying to.
And I keep on trying to remind myself about how much better this year is compared to last- no loans, no difficult work situations, no craziness like that. And I think that is a really big blessing, because if I had to keep doing this year what I had to deal with last year, I would be in a rough situation. Life basically wouldn't really give me much to look forward to at all. At least I still get Christmas break with Tommy- he won't have work, so hopefully we get quality time together, because we deserve it! We will just get to ride the bus everywhere, just like always. I'm really looking forward to that break.
I just had my fall break for a week+today, and I'm sad to go back to school already! Last week went by so quickly! I'm not ready for the real world again! But I'm excited that 2nd quarter is here, because that's the fun time of year, with a holiday or more each month! It seems to go by faster because there are a few more breaks, and spread out a little more. And we have a little over a week of Parent-Teacher Conferences, so we get out early everyday for those! So even though I'm not looking forward to go back to work, I'm excited that at least we can do some fun things. I hope my students have not forgotten everything!
I'm also hopeful that I can transfer closer to home next year. For Tommy's sake, I think it would be great for him to get an internship because he wants one so much, but for my sake I don't really mind either way. I am just looking forward to his graduation.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
Thanksgiving in July and August
Thanksgiving means "giving thanks." And that's just what I want to do.
I won't go into details, but I had a really rough year last school year, which was my first year teaching.
Life was also busy, and a lot different than I expected: I was busy, I was poor, I was tired, I had to ride the bus all the time, I felt friendless, sometimes I felt like a bad teacher, and at times I would cry a lot. It was slightly pathetic. (That, I promise, is going nowhere into details.) I tried so hard to change things and to change myself and I felt like it wasn't working, but I kept having a feeling (thank you, Holy Ghost), that things would change and get better, even though I had to stick it out then. At that time, I wasn't truly happy, so I couldn't really be happy if I tried. Because I did try. And it felt like it wasn't working. I always prayed to be happy again, and for things to get better. It was just really really hard.
My prayers, my many many prayers, were answered. And oh my goodness, I cannot even explain to what extent they were answered. It kind of even makes me literally want to cry tears of joy because of how blessed I know I am.
And because I pleaded so much, every time something good happens to me, even if it's small, I become extremely happy and say a silent thankful prayer. I am SO thankful for the blessings in my life right now. I'm still riding the bus, I'm still busy, I'm still tired, I'm still relatively poor (but not as much as last year!), I still don't really get to hang out with people a lot, and I haven't cried in a while. So, it seems, not much has changed.
NOT TRUE.
I have felt happy every day I have gone to work this week. And not short spurts of happiness.
It is because Heavenly Father placed some very ....(I'm at a loss for words because there is no word to describe how great of people they are)... some very LOVING people and LOVELY people, who are generous and kind, heartwarming and honest, forthright and inclusionary people into my life, who have made me feel welcomed, important, and loved.
So I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough. I can't thank these people enough. I can't... I just can't. But I'm trying to spread the love. I hope no one ever has to go through what I went through. I am trying to spread the love that I feel to other people and teachers. I hope I can share it with my students and not be or portray the burned-out, frazzled, unhappy, yet I-love-my-students teacher that I was last year. (But the BEAUTIFUL thing about children is how forgiving they are- I am convinced that's what Christ was talking about when he told us to be like little children. "...submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love..." The full of love part. It's BEAUTIFUL if you have experienced anything like that.) --Mosiah 3:19
http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/3.19?lang=eng is the reference in case anyone cared.
So, now, can I please just preach to the world now, just for a second? The world needs love. You show love through service, which can be ANYTHING. Spending time, smiling, saying hi, offering help, including someone, learning about a person, etc. And when I say the world needs love, I DO NOT mean selective love. The world needs to throw that trash out the window and never say hello to it again. You do not need to pick and choose who to love, and who to be nice to. That is crap.
It's not our job. We are all children of God, and I truly believe that. If we are His children, just imagine the potential we have to become. That means we're all sisters and brothers. We are family. We each HAVE to remember that, and DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. It's called the GOLDEN Rule for a reason. It will turn your heart to gold if you do. I know that sounds cheesy, and I'm sorry, but it is also true, and I'm not sorry for that fact. So please, just for my sake, just to make someone's day better, whether YOU think they need it or not, just be nice, kind, and loving to the next person you have the urge and impulse to do the opposite to. Then reflect on what happens. Please. Just once. It could change their life.
By the way, I am so entirely grateful- inside, outside, from the bottom to the top, through and through my heart- for the miracles that have recently occurred in my life. God works through other people. “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”
- Spencer W. Kimball
I promise.
I won't go into details, but I had a really rough year last school year, which was my first year teaching.
Life was also busy, and a lot different than I expected: I was busy, I was poor, I was tired, I had to ride the bus all the time, I felt friendless, sometimes I felt like a bad teacher, and at times I would cry a lot. It was slightly pathetic. (That, I promise, is going nowhere into details.) I tried so hard to change things and to change myself and I felt like it wasn't working, but I kept having a feeling (thank you, Holy Ghost), that things would change and get better, even though I had to stick it out then. At that time, I wasn't truly happy, so I couldn't really be happy if I tried. Because I did try. And it felt like it wasn't working. I always prayed to be happy again, and for things to get better. It was just really really hard.
My prayers, my many many prayers, were answered. And oh my goodness, I cannot even explain to what extent they were answered. It kind of even makes me literally want to cry tears of joy because of how blessed I know I am.
And because I pleaded so much, every time something good happens to me, even if it's small, I become extremely happy and say a silent thankful prayer. I am SO thankful for the blessings in my life right now. I'm still riding the bus, I'm still busy, I'm still tired, I'm still relatively poor (but not as much as last year!), I still don't really get to hang out with people a lot, and I haven't cried in a while. So, it seems, not much has changed.
NOT TRUE.
I have felt happy every day I have gone to work this week. And not short spurts of happiness.
It is because Heavenly Father placed some very ....(I'm at a loss for words because there is no word to describe how great of people they are)... some very LOVING people and LOVELY people, who are generous and kind, heartwarming and honest, forthright and inclusionary people into my life, who have made me feel welcomed, important, and loved.
So I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough. I can't thank these people enough. I can't... I just can't. But I'm trying to spread the love. I hope no one ever has to go through what I went through. I am trying to spread the love that I feel to other people and teachers. I hope I can share it with my students and not be or portray the burned-out, frazzled, unhappy, yet I-love-my-students teacher that I was last year. (But the BEAUTIFUL thing about children is how forgiving they are- I am convinced that's what Christ was talking about when he told us to be like little children. "...submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love..." The full of love part. It's BEAUTIFUL if you have experienced anything like that.) --Mosiah 3:19
http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/3.19?lang=eng is the reference in case anyone cared.
So, now, can I please just preach to the world now, just for a second? The world needs love. You show love through service, which can be ANYTHING. Spending time, smiling, saying hi, offering help, including someone, learning about a person, etc. And when I say the world needs love, I DO NOT mean selective love. The world needs to throw that trash out the window and never say hello to it again. You do not need to pick and choose who to love, and who to be nice to. That is crap.
It's not our job. We are all children of God, and I truly believe that. If we are His children, just imagine the potential we have to become. That means we're all sisters and brothers. We are family. We each HAVE to remember that, and DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. It's called the GOLDEN Rule for a reason. It will turn your heart to gold if you do. I know that sounds cheesy, and I'm sorry, but it is also true, and I'm not sorry for that fact. So please, just for my sake, just to make someone's day better, whether YOU think they need it or not, just be nice, kind, and loving to the next person you have the urge and impulse to do the opposite to. Then reflect on what happens. Please. Just once. It could change their life.
By the way, I am so entirely grateful- inside, outside, from the bottom to the top, through and through my heart- for the miracles that have recently occurred in my life. God works through other people. “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”
- Spencer W. Kimball
I promise.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Marriage Memoir: On Wedding Nights, Trust, and Love
I've been thinking about this post for a while now- about what/how to write it, what I'm going to say, etc. I realized that thinking about it isn't going to make the perfect post, so I'm just going to go ahead and write it. If you don't want to read a personal post, then stop reading.
I hope that as you read this, you will be able to consider things from my point of view instead of taking offense or feeling attacked (which is not my purpose). And, if for any reasons, you have any questions after my reading, go ahead and ask (but watch the talk I linked at the bottom first)!
**I also want you to know that if you find yourself differing from what you are about to read, I most likely do not think you're a bad person. And I'm not even going to define bad person, because that gets really complicated really fast. So I probably still think you're a good person, and so don't worry.**
I've always believed in marriage- that people should get married. I've always been taught about marriage and families. I have been taught and believe in being chaste. That means not having sexual relations outside of marriage and maintaining complete fidelity after marriage. I'm an advocate for marriage, and here's one post of how I advocate. There are numerous studies out there about families and my belief system, but for now, I'm going to leave those out of this, because I want to tell my story, not others'.
Yes, I saved having sexual relations for marriage. Of course, I held hands and kissed- that's fine- I feel like those can be some of the sweetest ways of showing affection. But yes, I did not really do anything more than that before I was married. Was it hard at times? (Yes.) That's not necessarily the right question to ask, though. You should ask if it was worth it.
Was it worth abstaining from sexual relations until marriage? YES!
---> Follow-up question: Why? Why was it worth it?
1. My wedding night was beautiful.
No, it wasn't perfect. No, I didn't know completely what I was doing. Yes, it worked itself out.
I NEVER EVER heard of anything needing to be perfect to be beautiful. (Some people even argue that the imperfections in things are what make them beautiful, although that's not the point I'm trying to make here.)
I made that special, personal memory with only one person, after I was married. My wedding night didn't bring me back to a place of sharing myself with someone else I now regretted or wished for or lost; I am keeping that memory locked with one person, forever. (And please don't be cynical- I am NOT getting a divorce. Trust me. Just do.)
Sharing that part of me that had never been shared with anyone before, and with my now forever husband- that was beautiful.
Our bond grew, our love grew, our marriage grew.
(Plus, what is special about a wedding night when you've already shared sexual intimacy with the other person?)
2. Trust
Have you ever heard and/or used the argument that you should "find out if you're compatible before you actually get married?"
Here's why that is completely and utterly bogus: When it comes down to the very bottom of it, if there is a man and a woman involved, then there is compatibility. DATING is to determine compatibility within a relationship. When people use the former argument, I just hear them saying that they can't put full trust in their relationship. Think about it for a second (or 60, if needed).
(1 Mississippi...)
Basically, if a person trusts their companion, then they will not find it necessary to "make sure" through sexual intercourse. Once you've done that, it's kind of too late- there's been a PRETTY big bond you've just created.
Why not say "I love you" with a promise of full trust until after marriage?
3. Love
Some might ask how I know the following since I have not tested it. (If you're one of those, I guess you could look up studies about it.)
I agree that it is an expression of love. You feel loved, you love the other, etc.
I just want to say that I KNOW I love my husband SO MUCH MORE than I would have if I had not saved myself for marriage; I know myself, and I know that I wouldn't. I know that my human and biological functions are very similar to other humans, especially females of my age, so there is a really big chance right here that most people would love their spouses more if they waited until after marriage.
I never had my heart broken by someone I gave myself away to who left me, and one reason for that is I waited. I did not get pregnant outside of marriage, nor did I have the risk, because I waited. I have some wonderful memories that I hold dear, and a husband who I love so much. I am happier, because I waited, and that's just how it is.
Once again, I hope you did not find offense and were able to look through my lens for a minute or two. If you differ from the points I have made, I would encourage you to try what I have put forth, but PLEASE know that I am not condemning or judging you as a person. If you've made choices (referring to the content of this post, or anything, for that matter) in your past that you regret but have done all you can to make them right, don't get discouraged from what I have written.
These are my beliefs, they're what I have been taught, and they're what I will teach my children. I'm bringing them out into the open, and encouraging you to try.
If you have about 16 minutes, here is a talk about what I believe, and is more eloquent than me. This is probably the best part of my post, so just watch it, please!
I hope that as you read this, you will be able to consider things from my point of view instead of taking offense or feeling attacked (which is not my purpose). And, if for any reasons, you have any questions after my reading, go ahead and ask (but watch the talk I linked at the bottom first)!
**I also want you to know that if you find yourself differing from what you are about to read, I most likely do not think you're a bad person. And I'm not even going to define bad person, because that gets really complicated really fast. So I probably still think you're a good person, and so don't worry.**
I've always believed in marriage- that people should get married. I've always been taught about marriage and families. I have been taught and believe in being chaste. That means not having sexual relations outside of marriage and maintaining complete fidelity after marriage. I'm an advocate for marriage, and here's one post of how I advocate. There are numerous studies out there about families and my belief system, but for now, I'm going to leave those out of this, because I want to tell my story, not others'.
Yes, I saved having sexual relations for marriage. Of course, I held hands and kissed- that's fine- I feel like those can be some of the sweetest ways of showing affection. But yes, I did not really do anything more than that before I was married. Was it hard at times? (Yes.) That's not necessarily the right question to ask, though. You should ask if it was worth it.
Was it worth abstaining from sexual relations until marriage? YES!
---> Follow-up question: Why? Why was it worth it?
1. My wedding night was beautiful.
No, it wasn't perfect. No, I didn't know completely what I was doing. Yes, it worked itself out.
I NEVER EVER heard of anything needing to be perfect to be beautiful. (Some people even argue that the imperfections in things are what make them beautiful, although that's not the point I'm trying to make here.)
I made that special, personal memory with only one person, after I was married. My wedding night didn't bring me back to a place of sharing myself with someone else I now regretted or wished for or lost; I am keeping that memory locked with one person, forever. (And please don't be cynical- I am NOT getting a divorce. Trust me. Just do.)
Sharing that part of me that had never been shared with anyone before, and with my now forever husband- that was beautiful.
Our bond grew, our love grew, our marriage grew.
(Plus, what is special about a wedding night when you've already shared sexual intimacy with the other person?)
2. Trust
Have you ever heard and/or used the argument that you should "find out if you're compatible before you actually get married?"
Here's why that is completely and utterly bogus: When it comes down to the very bottom of it, if there is a man and a woman involved, then there is compatibility. DATING is to determine compatibility within a relationship. When people use the former argument, I just hear them saying that they can't put full trust in their relationship. Think about it for a second (or 60, if needed).
(1 Mississippi...)
Basically, if a person trusts their companion, then they will not find it necessary to "make sure" through sexual intercourse. Once you've done that, it's kind of too late- there's been a PRETTY big bond you've just created.
Why not say "I love you" with a promise of full trust until after marriage?
3. Love
Some might ask how I know the following since I have not tested it. (If you're one of those, I guess you could look up studies about it.)
I agree that it is an expression of love. You feel loved, you love the other, etc.
I just want to say that I KNOW I love my husband SO MUCH MORE than I would have if I had not saved myself for marriage; I know myself, and I know that I wouldn't. I know that my human and biological functions are very similar to other humans, especially females of my age, so there is a really big chance right here that most people would love their spouses more if they waited until after marriage.
I never had my heart broken by someone I gave myself away to who left me, and one reason for that is I waited. I did not get pregnant outside of marriage, nor did I have the risk, because I waited. I have some wonderful memories that I hold dear, and a husband who I love so much. I am happier, because I waited, and that's just how it is.
Once again, I hope you did not find offense and were able to look through my lens for a minute or two. If you differ from the points I have made, I would encourage you to try what I have put forth, but PLEASE know that I am not condemning or judging you as a person. If you've made choices (referring to the content of this post, or anything, for that matter) in your past that you regret but have done all you can to make them right, don't get discouraged from what I have written.
These are my beliefs, they're what I have been taught, and they're what I will teach my children. I'm bringing them out into the open, and encouraging you to try.
If you have about 16 minutes, here is a talk about what I believe, and is more eloquent than me. This is probably the best part of my post, so just watch it, please!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
School
My students (and I) get out of school in 4 more weeks. I don't care about the bus ride to and from work hardly as much as I care about not having to leave home, or be gone ALL day (plus a little more), or be at work dealing with things, or wake up at 4:30, or....
(Hey, it means I only have to buy one more bus pass for a while, too!)
However, I feel like these last 4 weeks are going to be a bumpy ride, and slightly unenjoyable in a few work-related areas.
But, the fact that it's only 4 more weeks and I have a BREAK is one of the only things I am able to hold onto right now. And I am very excited about it. Because I am really starting to lose it and I could use a little bit of sanity in my life. (Not that I'll get much more by NOT being far away from home all day, but I think I will get at least SOME restored, since I'm not going to have to worry about taking care of 19 different 7 and 8 year olds.)
(Hey, it means I only have to buy one more bus pass for a while, too!)
However, I feel like these last 4 weeks are going to be a bumpy ride, and slightly unenjoyable in a few work-related areas.
But, the fact that it's only 4 more weeks and I have a BREAK is one of the only things I am able to hold onto right now. And I am very excited about it. Because I am really starting to lose it and I could use a little bit of sanity in my life. (Not that I'll get much more by NOT being far away from home all day, but I think I will get at least SOME restored, since I'm not going to have to worry about taking care of 19 different 7 and 8 year olds.)
Monday, April 1, 2013
3 Dreams
My dreams have not been working out so well lately. Here are some from the past 3 nights.
First, I get heart-broken when Tommy suddenly decides to go back to Hong Kong, and since I have to stay and work, we have to get a divorce?... I am wondering who I am going to marry again. I am asked to sign one paper, and then suddenly, someone is holding another stack of blue papers. Then, Tommy is about to go out the door. I ask him very hopefully if I can make it back to Hong Kong, can we get married again?
His reply, " Probably not..."
I was crushed, and trying everything I could do not to cry.
(Luckily I woke up after this dream, and Tommy was right there, and I felt so happy, and put my arm around him. Then I turned the other direction, and then he did the same thing to me, while he was still sleeping. I felt so much better.)
Next, my extended family and I are on a terrific picnic on a beautifully green hill, when a van full of murderers get dropped off. I briefly talk to the driver, who is from the jail or something, and says they're not dangerous, and they're supposed to be dropped off here. It's my job to calm my family down and convince them we're not going to be killed (but hide them inside the nearest building, anyway), and try to not get the murderers to hunt us down or kill us, while also sort of befriending them to stay on their good side.
Last, Tommy and I are mad at each other, and then my dream jumps and somehow I find myself a new missionary on an LDS mission. My companion and I woke up late, AND we have the job to go track down a pair of thieves or murderers, so we're rushing trying to get ready. Suddenly, our mission president's face shows up (think Wizard of Oz) and he is chewing me out for not having personal scripture study. I'm trying to explain that it's not entirely my fault (and I'm a NEW missionary), and that we have to go catch these guys, but he doesn't care and warns me that I need to be better and it's my responsibility.
No, I'm not pregnant. I've had weird dreams like this my whole life. (Ask anyone in my family.)
And this is why there should be some device invented in order to record dreams...
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
L-O-A-N that's how you spell Loan!
Now you know, I have student loans, just like almost the rest of everyone else who is a US citizen and went to a university. It wasn't that much to begin with (less than $10,000), so that's a pretty awesome thing. Since I'm a teacher, I have the summer off. (I have from May 25-July 29 off, actually.) 2 months. I'd really love to take those two months to play and relax, because I know I could use it. However, Tommy is going to be working, and since we don't have any children, I really wouldn't have too much to occupy my time. I do get bored easily at times, and I don't have a lot of money to buy things to make crafts all day...
The other day I got to thinking and started to wonder, "What if I got a job on campus for those two months?" So I asked Tommy today, and my thought went even farther to, "I could use all of that extra money from working an extra job to go straight to pay off my student loan, plus the money from my regular paycheck." Tommy agrees. We both want to be able to start actually saving money as soon as possible. Money goes in, and it goes out even faster, it seems like. As we were discussing things, we determined that if everything went according to that plan, then I can have my loan paid off by October! (Or maybe even before October!)
So, even though I don't actually want to spend my 2 months "off" working, I would love to pay off my student loan as fast as possible. The government wants me to pay it off in 10 years, according to their payoff plan. I think they just want extra money! I pay roughly 5 times the payment amount I'm required per month, so I'm on the 2 year track as of now, which is also not too bad. But paying it off by October does sound like a dream! (A dream that I can definitely handle!!!)
Because I'm tired of paying extra money. And I want to save money. And we don't have a car yet, although we're trying to discuss that and figure that out. But riding the bus is very economical, as well as very environmentally friendly. Although it does take a very long time. We'll see. I'm just very hopeful about this.
Or perhaps idealistic.
I'm just tired of paying bills I don't want to pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I want to get rid of one that stares me down each time I get paid. Goodbye to you, is my take.
I know this is a boring post. I'm sorry.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
I'm so excited for...
Well, first of all, my brother and sister-in-law (I have a sister-in-law now!) got married on Saturday, so congratulations to them! I'm excited for a new sister. She's awesome, too! And she looked so incredibly beautiful.
I'm always excited for one thing: spending time with my husband.
Which makes me excited for two dates, in particular:
April 12- last day of finals for my baby;
May 24- last day of school (teaching) for me.
I'm excited for next month, too, because that means spring break for me, but sadly, my husband will be studying away, which means I won't get to spend very much quality time with him. (But it will still be exciting to be able to see him and spend time with him when I can, because that will be more than most.)
I'm excited for April 12, because that means no more studying for classes! That means that when I come home from work, my Tommy Baby will be all mine! (For the most part.) We can do nice things, like walk to Foodland at night, just to walk around. We can watch movies together. We can go to bed at the same time!!! (I always have to go to bed before Tommy because he's studying, and I have to wake up super early.)
I'm excited for May 24, because after that, I can relax for the summer (from work). Then, hopefully, I will be able to spend even more time with Tommy. Even though he'll be working during the day, well, I can have lunch with him, or go find him if I want to see him.
He's looking for an internship for this summer, though, so hopefully we won't be apart, because that would be boring and stinky. (It depends on his internship schedule and my school start date.)
But, I'm not worrying about that right now, BECAUSE.... it gives me something to look forward to!
And, I like counting down a bit. Only 3 months until school is out for the summer for me!! (That includes spring break and the following week.) That is so close! 3 months goes by quickly!!! (Unfortunately, too, because that means my summer is going to be fast. :( )
I'm just excited, though. It helps me get through my right now slightly boring life. :)
I'm always excited for one thing: spending time with my husband.
Which makes me excited for two dates, in particular:
April 12- last day of finals for my baby;
May 24- last day of school (teaching) for me.
I'm excited for next month, too, because that means spring break for me, but sadly, my husband will be studying away, which means I won't get to spend very much quality time with him. (But it will still be exciting to be able to see him and spend time with him when I can, because that will be more than most.)
I'm excited for April 12, because that means no more studying for classes! That means that when I come home from work, my Tommy Baby will be all mine! (For the most part.) We can do nice things, like walk to Foodland at night, just to walk around. We can watch movies together. We can go to bed at the same time!!! (I always have to go to bed before Tommy because he's studying, and I have to wake up super early.)
I'm excited for May 24, because after that, I can relax for the summer (from work). Then, hopefully, I will be able to spend even more time with Tommy. Even though he'll be working during the day, well, I can have lunch with him, or go find him if I want to see him.
He's looking for an internship for this summer, though, so hopefully we won't be apart, because that would be boring and stinky. (It depends on his internship schedule and my school start date.)
But, I'm not worrying about that right now, BECAUSE.... it gives me something to look forward to!
And, I like counting down a bit. Only 3 months until school is out for the summer for me!! (That includes spring break and the following week.) That is so close! 3 months goes by quickly!!! (Unfortunately, too, because that means my summer is going to be fast. :( )
I'm just excited, though. It helps me get through my right now slightly boring life. :)
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Some Days Were Just Meant to be Bad
Today, for me, was one of them. Let's start by saying you got about 4.5 hours of sleep, and sum it up with having a crazy schedule, good kids, naughty kids, noisy kids, and grumpy kids at school. To top it off with a BANG!, we'll add on that the bus made a very noisy sound and the air or hydraulics system went out. The good part? It broke down next to a road you could walk on to catch a different bus that only comes 4 times a day. But you have to wait 30 minutes for that bus to arrive. At least you got to talk to other people who are always on the same bus as you...and kind of make friends.
....And so at the end, or middle, or whenever you are able, you can listen to "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. Because as weird and strange as it is, listening to an upbeat song about having a bad day is indeed oddly vindicating, and also releases pressure/stress/whatever.
So, if you're having a bad day, just listen to that song.
If you want more of headbanging songs, try this one a few times. And if that doesn't work, you could always listen to Linkin Park (you should know this one).
Last, if you prefer mellow music, you should listen to Joshua Radin. And if you're going to do that, you might as well WATCH his music video for Brand New Day because it's really funny.
I guess the real point of this post, whatever your music preferences are, is that you should listen to music to feel happier after a long day. (But don't listen to music that will make you feel angrier! The world doesn't want that, peeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
PEACE!
....And so at the end, or middle, or whenever you are able, you can listen to "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. Because as weird and strange as it is, listening to an upbeat song about having a bad day is indeed oddly vindicating, and also releases pressure/stress/whatever.
So, if you're having a bad day, just listen to that song.
If you want more of headbanging songs, try this one a few times. And if that doesn't work, you could always listen to Linkin Park (you should know this one).
Last, if you prefer mellow music, you should listen to Joshua Radin. And if you're going to do that, you might as well WATCH his music video for Brand New Day because it's really funny.
I guess the real point of this post, whatever your music preferences are, is that you should listen to music to feel happier after a long day. (But don't listen to music that will make you feel angrier! The world doesn't want that, peeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
PEACE!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Ah, the Life of a Teacher
Today, I was blessed with the amusing and awe-striking experience of being a teacher. (Names are changed for protection.) FYI, I teach 2nd grade.
***DISCLAIMER: Most days are not anywhere near as...amusing and/or awe-striking as this fabulous Friday was. Most days are completely "normal" (compared to this one).***
Scene 1:
1st bell just rang, 5th grade cousin walks into room: "Mrs. Wong, What's Sam's mom's phone number? I'm his cousin [I knew that], and he threw up on his plate." Apparently someone got sick while eating school breakfast (and I honestly doubt it was due to what he was eating).
Scene 2:
Lunch Recess. Walking to playground. See a silly boy peeing on the grass. I'm not even lying. Of course, I motioned for him to come to me, but he just stayed put, and as I got closer, he went to play with friends. Well, I got a good look at his face, found him quickly, and we walked right over to the counselors to talk about such behavior (meaning we walked over together and I told the counselors what happened, and left so I could watch the other students).
Scene 3:
End of lunch recess. Students should be lining up with their classes. Some Kinders scream "His pants are falling down!" Yes, indeedy, they sure are. I'm questioning myself: "Why would he wear pants that are so huge on him to school?" The button and zipper are still done up, but the pants won't be pulled up. Note to self: pants are not too big; he pulled them down without undoing anything, and now they're stuck. He's running around, trying not to show his underwear to the whole playground. I get the fine task of unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling them up, and then buttoning and zipping them right back up again. Oh boy!
It doesn't stop there.
Wait, why is he trying to pull them down?
Kinder boy: "I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Other student: "There's somebody in there!"
Me: "Wait until your teacher takes your class to the bathroom. You can go then!"
Kinder boy: "I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Other student: "There's somebody in there!"
Me: "Can you wait until your teacher takes you?"
Kinder boy: "No! I need to go!" (He's very wiggly and squirmy, and highly uncomfortable)
Me: "Okay, well can you use that one over there?"
Kinder boy: "Okay!!!" as he runs away, trying to pull down his pants.
Sometimes, when you gotta go, you gotta go!
Scene 4:
Today was the 104th day of school, but we celebrated the 100th day because our students needed time to do their displays of 100 items.
2 students put 100 stickers on a piece of paper. Students are individually presenting projects to the class.
George: "This is 100 hero stickers..."
I call another student up right after George.
Henry: "I made 100 stickers, too."
"What kind of stickers are on there, Henry?"
"Lightning McQueen!" exclaims half the class.
"Oh, you put Cars stickers on it?"
"Yes."
"Henry, stay there. George, come back up; hold your sticker sheet. Class, what kind of stickers are on George's paper?"
"Hero stickers."
"And what kind of stickers are on Henry's paper?"
"Cars!"
Pointing from their sticker sheets to their shirts, I point something out to the class. George is wearing a Captain America shirt and used 100 hero stickers. Henry is wearing a Lightning McQueen shirt and used Cars stickers.
That was the best observation I made all day! Plus, the class laughed, and George and Henry weren't sure if they felt special or embarrassed."'
Scene 5:
EVERYONE in class eventually understood the math lesson today! It didn't even take that long for most of them to get it!
Scene 6: I put a paper clip chain around my neck (a hundreds project a student made) and flaunt it to the class while he's explaining it. Well, that just made the whole day awesome, apparently. Those kids did not expect their teacher to wear a colorful paper clip necklace... another funny moment.
***DISCLAIMER: Most days are not anywhere near as...amusing and/or awe-striking as this fabulous Friday was. Most days are completely "normal" (compared to this one).***
Scene 1:
1st bell just rang, 5th grade cousin walks into room: "Mrs. Wong, What's Sam's mom's phone number? I'm his cousin [I knew that], and he threw up on his plate." Apparently someone got sick while eating school breakfast (and I honestly doubt it was due to what he was eating).
Scene 2:
Lunch Recess. Walking to playground. See a silly boy peeing on the grass. I'm not even lying. Of course, I motioned for him to come to me, but he just stayed put, and as I got closer, he went to play with friends. Well, I got a good look at his face, found him quickly, and we walked right over to the counselors to talk about such behavior (meaning we walked over together and I told the counselors what happened, and left so I could watch the other students).
Scene 3:
End of lunch recess. Students should be lining up with their classes. Some Kinders scream "His pants are falling down!" Yes, indeedy, they sure are. I'm questioning myself: "Why would he wear pants that are so huge on him to school?" The button and zipper are still done up, but the pants won't be pulled up. Note to self: pants are not too big; he pulled them down without undoing anything, and now they're stuck. He's running around, trying not to show his underwear to the whole playground. I get the fine task of unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling them up, and then buttoning and zipping them right back up again. Oh boy!
It doesn't stop there.
Wait, why is he trying to pull them down?
Kinder boy: "I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Other student: "There's somebody in there!"
Me: "Wait until your teacher takes your class to the bathroom. You can go then!"
Kinder boy: "I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Other student: "There's somebody in there!"
Me: "Can you wait until your teacher takes you?"
Kinder boy: "No! I need to go!" (He's very wiggly and squirmy, and highly uncomfortable)
Me: "Okay, well can you use that one over there?"
Kinder boy: "Okay!!!" as he runs away, trying to pull down his pants.
Sometimes, when you gotta go, you gotta go!
Scene 4:
Today was the 104th day of school, but we celebrated the 100th day because our students needed time to do their displays of 100 items.
2 students put 100 stickers on a piece of paper. Students are individually presenting projects to the class.
George: "This is 100 hero stickers..."
I call another student up right after George.
Henry: "I made 100 stickers, too."
"What kind of stickers are on there, Henry?"
"Lightning McQueen!" exclaims half the class.
"Oh, you put Cars stickers on it?"
"Yes."
"Henry, stay there. George, come back up; hold your sticker sheet. Class, what kind of stickers are on George's paper?"
"Hero stickers."
"And what kind of stickers are on Henry's paper?"
"Cars!"
Pointing from their sticker sheets to their shirts, I point something out to the class. George is wearing a Captain America shirt and used 100 hero stickers. Henry is wearing a Lightning McQueen shirt and used Cars stickers.
That was the best observation I made all day! Plus, the class laughed, and George and Henry weren't sure if they felt special or embarrassed."'
Scene 5:
EVERYONE in class eventually understood the math lesson today! It didn't even take that long for most of them to get it!
Scene 6: I put a paper clip chain around my neck (a hundreds project a student made) and flaunt it to the class while he's explaining it. Well, that just made the whole day awesome, apparently. Those kids did not expect their teacher to wear a colorful paper clip necklace... another funny moment.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Nicknames and TheBus
Typically, society portrays Alice (from Alice in Wonderland) as having blonde hair. That’s why it was so
hard for me one morning to decide if I was “Alice in Wonderland” or “Goldilocks.” You
see, I was riding the bus one morning, as my usual routine in getting to work,
and a man was speaking to another bus rider, but with an unusually loud voice.
“I have a name for every person who rides this bus every
morning,” he boasted. “I call her ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ and
that one is Goldilocks.” He babbled
on about this for a few minutes, repeating himself a few times, and talking about
nicknames for a few other people. I knew I had to be one of those two.
“But then again,” I questioned myself, “Why am I not Sleeping
Beauty? Doesn’t he see me at least trying
to sleep every morning?”
As creepy as it may have sounded, I did want to know who I
was. I could ask him, but I didn’t want to spark a long conversation with him. I
try to sleep on the bus, and that would foil my plans. As I posted it on
facebook, most responses I got back were in favor of me being “Alice .”
Well, this Nickname Guy couldn’t be too creepy; I had a few
nicknames for people before. Actually, one man in particular.
On a later bus I used to ride, a man with an earring, glasses,
and a mole, who worked at a museum, would get onto the bus. Of course, since my
eyes were closed, I would usually smell him before I could see him. That led
his nickname to become “Coffee Boy.” He’d walk onto that bus with coffee every
morning. Sometimes he sat next or close to me, and I could smell that coffee
even more. I just started to call him Coffee Boy in my head. Whenever I see him
(usually on the way home), I say to myself, “There’s Coffee Boy.” I guess some
people earn reputations, neither good nor bad. I earned an Alice/Goldilocks rep
because of my hair, and another man earned a coffee rep.
The one rule Nicknaming Guy broke: you should never tell
people on the bus about your nicknames for other bus riders.
And I guess he just earned himself a nickname by breaking
that rule.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Life, I guess
Remember in my last post how I talked about my journal, and how it's easier? Well, I haven't written in it for a while. A long time. I don't really know why. And I'm not really sure how to get myself to start again. I don't necessarily think the root or stem of the problem is laziness to write (although that might be a "leaf" if we're talking plant metaphors here). I don't know. I want to treasure life as I have it now. I also know that if I wrote down all my blessings everyday, I'd be a lot happier. I haven't been as happy as I've wanted to be...probably since my birthday. Or before that.
I didn't even have a clue how attached to my journal I really was. When I lost it and tried everything I could to get it back, I was left devastated each time nothing worked. I've often thought to myself about how I feel like I lost part of myself when I lost that journal. those months, February through August, were a HUGE shaping point of my life, because SO MUCH happened. I still struggle with it sometimes. My lovely husband could even tell just now (while doing his hw), that I was having a bit of a hard time, so he made sure I was okay- twice. One day I told him that I don't know when I'll be okay, but I know I will be okay (regarding my journal). He told me that was a big step from where I first started. I'm obviously still not there yet, otherwise I'd be totally up to write everyday.
At the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013, I just kept thinking about how 2012 was the HARDEST year of my life. But then I realized, it was also the best year of my life as well. At that point, I came to the conclusion that if we're going to get big blessings, we're going to get big trials. Also, if we're going to get big trials, we're going to get big blessings.
Life is getting better, but only because I've been exerting a lot of energy into helping myself have a good attitude. Having a good attitude used to come so naturally to me, but like I said, 2012 was hard, and it really did beat me down a little. I got tired of being at that place, so I'm trying to take matters into my hands to be happy. I'm still working on it. Since I'm graduated and have a career, but live in married student housing, I'm in a tough position. I don't really feel like I have that many friends, and I live nowhere near any of my coworkers (who are all married and have children and stuff like that). It's easy to feel alone. Not to mention the fact that I NEED social interaction to keep myself happy. That's one struggle I have, because my schedule and life situation aren't very conducive to making friends with a lot of people.
On another note, I have been thinking about something lately (the past few months or weeks):
I've been thinking about how people tell others that there's someone who is always worse off or has worse problems than they have, and then their problems don't seem so bad. While I don't exactly want to thoroughly discredit this idea, OUR problems are OUR problems, which makes them feel incredibly real for ourselves. Sometimes, it seems like if we compare our problems to someone else's, ours aren't so bad. BUT, this cannot exactly hold true. It can't hold true because the types of problems we experience wouldn't actually be an issue to that other person, or their problems would be too much for us to bear and/or handle, so we meet face-to-face with challenges that are meant for US, and are not to be compared. Example: Suppose a close relative died. "Compare" that to me "just" losing part of my journal. Seems like no big deal against coping with family loss. But it was HUGE to me!) Problems weren't meant to be compared. They were meant to be dealt with.
Good things are coming my way: David Choi concert next Saturday, Matthew and Amanda are getting married in less than a month, and I'm going to bed now!
I didn't even have a clue how attached to my journal I really was. When I lost it and tried everything I could to get it back, I was left devastated each time nothing worked. I've often thought to myself about how I feel like I lost part of myself when I lost that journal. those months, February through August, were a HUGE shaping point of my life, because SO MUCH happened. I still struggle with it sometimes. My lovely husband could even tell just now (while doing his hw), that I was having a bit of a hard time, so he made sure I was okay- twice. One day I told him that I don't know when I'll be okay, but I know I will be okay (regarding my journal). He told me that was a big step from where I first started. I'm obviously still not there yet, otherwise I'd be totally up to write everyday.
At the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013, I just kept thinking about how 2012 was the HARDEST year of my life. But then I realized, it was also the best year of my life as well. At that point, I came to the conclusion that if we're going to get big blessings, we're going to get big trials. Also, if we're going to get big trials, we're going to get big blessings.
Life is getting better, but only because I've been exerting a lot of energy into helping myself have a good attitude. Having a good attitude used to come so naturally to me, but like I said, 2012 was hard, and it really did beat me down a little. I got tired of being at that place, so I'm trying to take matters into my hands to be happy. I'm still working on it. Since I'm graduated and have a career, but live in married student housing, I'm in a tough position. I don't really feel like I have that many friends, and I live nowhere near any of my coworkers (who are all married and have children and stuff like that). It's easy to feel alone. Not to mention the fact that I NEED social interaction to keep myself happy. That's one struggle I have, because my schedule and life situation aren't very conducive to making friends with a lot of people.
On another note, I have been thinking about something lately (the past few months or weeks):
I've been thinking about how people tell others that there's someone who is always worse off or has worse problems than they have, and then their problems don't seem so bad. While I don't exactly want to thoroughly discredit this idea, OUR problems are OUR problems, which makes them feel incredibly real for ourselves. Sometimes, it seems like if we compare our problems to someone else's, ours aren't so bad. BUT, this cannot exactly hold true. It can't hold true because the types of problems we experience wouldn't actually be an issue to that other person, or their problems would be too much for us to bear and/or handle, so we meet face-to-face with challenges that are meant for US, and are not to be compared. Example: Suppose a close relative died. "Compare" that to me "just" losing part of my journal. Seems like no big deal against coping with family loss. But it was HUGE to me!) Problems weren't meant to be compared. They were meant to be dealt with.
Good things are coming my way: David Choi concert next Saturday, Matthew and Amanda are getting married in less than a month, and I'm going to bed now!
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