Ah, the Life of a Teacher

Today, I was blessed with the amusing and awe-striking experience of being a teacher. (Names are changed for protection.) FYI, I teach 2nd grade.

***DISCLAIMER: Most days are not anywhere near as...amusing and/or awe-striking as this fabulous Friday was. Most days are completely "normal" (compared to this one).***

Scene 1:
1st bell just rang, 5th grade cousin walks into room: "Mrs. Wong, What's Sam's mom's phone number? I'm his cousin [I knew that], and he threw up on his plate." Apparently someone got sick while eating school breakfast (and I honestly doubt it was due to what he was eating).

Scene 2:
Lunch Recess. Walking to playground. See a silly boy peeing on the grass. I'm not even lying. Of course, I motioned for him to come to me, but he just stayed put, and as I got closer, he went to play with friends. Well, I got a good look at his face, found him quickly, and we walked right over to the counselors to talk about such behavior (meaning we walked over together and I told the counselors what happened, and left so I could watch the other students).

Scene 3:
End of lunch recess. Students should be lining up with their classes. Some Kinders scream "His pants are falling down!" Yes, indeedy, they sure are. I'm questioning myself: "Why would he wear pants that are so huge on him to school?" The button and zipper are still done up, but the pants won't be pulled up. Note to self: pants are not too big; he pulled them down without undoing anything, and now they're stuck. He's running around, trying not to show his underwear to the whole playground. I get the fine task of unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling them up, and then buttoning and zipping them right back up again. Oh boy!
It doesn't stop there.

Wait, why is he trying to pull them down?
Kinder boy: "I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Other student: "There's somebody in there!"
Me: "Wait until your teacher takes your class to the bathroom. You can go then!"
Kinder boy: "I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Other student: "There's somebody in there!"
Me: "Can you wait until your teacher takes you?"
Kinder boy: "No! I need to go!" (He's very wiggly and squirmy, and highly uncomfortable)
Me: "Okay, well can you use that one over there?"
Kinder boy: "Okay!!!" as he runs away, trying to pull down his pants.

Sometimes, when you gotta go, you gotta go!

Scene 4:
Today was the 104th day of school, but we celebrated the 100th day because our students needed time to do their displays of 100 items.
2 students put 100 stickers on a piece of paper. Students are individually presenting projects to the class.
George: "This is 100 hero stickers..."
I call another student up right after George.
Henry: "I made 100 stickers, too."
"What kind of stickers are on there, Henry?"
"Lightning McQueen!" exclaims half the class.
"Oh, you put Cars stickers on it?"
"Yes."
"Henry, stay there. George, come back up; hold your sticker sheet. Class, what kind of stickers are on George's paper?"
"Hero stickers."
"And what kind of stickers are on Henry's paper?"
"Cars!"
Pointing from their sticker sheets to their shirts, I point something out to the class. George is wearing a Captain America shirt and used 100 hero stickers. Henry is wearing a Lightning McQueen shirt and used Cars stickers.
That was the best observation I made all day! Plus, the class laughed, and George and Henry weren't sure if they felt special or embarrassed."'

Scene 5:
EVERYONE in class eventually understood the math lesson today! It didn't even take that long for most of them to get it!

Scene 6: I put a paper clip chain around my neck (a hundreds project a student made) and flaunt it to the class while he's explaining it. Well, that just made the whole day awesome, apparently. Those kids did not expect their teacher to wear a colorful paper clip necklace... another funny moment.