Life....
Since I've visited, I am now:
Graduated from University
Married
Working Full Time
Riding the bus about 3.5 - 4 hours/day (to get to work and home from work)
Helping to pay for my husband's school...
Excited for my brother who will be graduating at the end of this semester
Excited for another brother who has a girlfriend
Trying to learn how to speak Cantonese
I've also had the best day and the worst day of my life.
Best day: Marriage. June 30.
Worst day: Birthday. August 9. I accidentally deleted my journal (I was keeping it in a word document) and erased it from my computer. I tried a lot of ways to recover. It's just not happening.
The good part: I had a copy until February.
The bad part: Most of the really good stuff is lost. Like student teaching days, graduation, entries about my awesome fiance/husband, wedding, honeymoon, the excitement of getting a job, my thoughts about my class.
I don't really even know how many times I have cried over it.
But I want to say, my husband has been really supportive through that.
It took me about two months to start writing in my journal again. Maybe more. And it still kind of hurts sometimes. But I'm finally not obsessing about it in my thoughts anymore.
I just had fall break from school. That's been nice. 6 school days off. I start again tomorrow. It kind of stinks, but I've enjoyed it. Just relaxing, and doing lots of good things.
Life is a nightmare. Life is a perfect dream. Life is everything in between.
(No, that was not meant to sound cheesy. It really was true.)
Just so you know, I am hurting and crying inside for you about your journal. When you told me about it I felt helpless, and mommies don't like feeling helpless when it comes to their children hurting. The sting of a small mistake can burn longer than we could ever imagine. I hope you can remember some of the great things you wrote. I have so many I never wrote and should have. I admire you for moving forward even when a push in the wrong direction was painful and discouraging. MC
ReplyDeleteThanks mom, I love you. I know I'll be okay. It was hard because I was so excited to read that part over and over, and I was excited to show it to my future kids. But it's okay, because it probably won't matter after I die, and by that time, I'll remember it all.
ReplyDelete